My almost 4-year-old twin toddlers like to exercise their independence by trying to do things for themselves. These include eating by themselves, wearing their own clothes, attempting to lay their bed by themselves and quite recently, taking a bath by themselves. While they are not perfect at it, they are making remarkable strides in all regards especially the girl who is quite maternal.
One evening, I was giving her a bath when she insisted that she would do it by herself. Reluctantly, I agreed to allow her. She did her best which by my estimation was good enough. Then came the surprise. She asked that I permit her to give me a bath! She said, “Mommy let me bath you”. I shrugged her off but she kept insisting and I finally gave in to her plea. “Okay. You can give me a bath", I said. I looked on as she meticulously gave me a bath. I sat through the session filled with awe as my heart burst with pride. I had a flashback of the tiny babies from few years ago and I could only be thankful. How quickly they grow!
As I reflected on her warm gesture of affection from a place of pure innocence and love, I considered how parenting could be a rare gift to brighten our lives. Few minutes after she had left the bathroom, she returned to the bath while I was giving a bath to her brother and said, "Mommy, you are my favourite girl. Okay? I love you". Those words left me with a priceless mix of emotions!
She went on to inform her brother and grandmother about the achievement of giving Mommy a bath. Anyone else who was willing to listen, she was quick to share her great news with the person. The experience got me to appreciate these thoughts;
1. Children often desire to help parents: When children are given the right opportunity, they are willing to offer support to their parents in whatever capability they can. Giving my daughter that space to be productive gave her a high a sense of joy and fulfilment for helping me.
2. Children gain a sense of responsibility when they exercise learned skills: Being applauded for her efforts made my daughter feel a sense of responsibility. She subsequently offered to also give a bath to her brother who actually is older than her, well, by minutes.
3. Children care about the well-being of their parents: My daughter offered to give me a bath as a way of reciprocating the care I give her. The intentional actions by which she gave me the bath gave a sense of deep affection I may not appropriately describe.
4. Affirmation of children's efforts encourages them to be better: Since the bathing incident, my daughter has become more confident about taking her bath by herself and she is getting better at it. She was encouraged that if she could ably bath her mommy then she shouldn't have any difficulty giving herself and others a bath. Had I belittled her efforts, she might not have built that confidence in her abilities.
I felt extremely loved and cared for by the action of my little girl offering to give me a bath. Her actions reassured me that if ever I needed someone to assist me with a bath, I could count on my baby to be there for me. It was a refreshing thought to consider that our children love us and will be there for us when it matters most.
We probably only need to make the needed sacrifices and teach them patiently to figure out life by themselves. As we train and take care of our children today, hopefully they too may become our biggest help tomorrow.
One evening, I was giving her a bath when she insisted that she would do it by herself. Reluctantly, I agreed to allow her. She did her best which by my estimation was good enough. Then came the surprise. She asked that I permit her to give me a bath! She said, “Mommy let me bath you”. I shrugged her off but she kept insisting and I finally gave in to her plea. “Okay. You can give me a bath", I said. I looked on as she meticulously gave me a bath. I sat through the session filled with awe as my heart burst with pride. I had a flashback of the tiny babies from few years ago and I could only be thankful. How quickly they grow!
As I reflected on her warm gesture of affection from a place of pure innocence and love, I considered how parenting could be a rare gift to brighten our lives. Few minutes after she had left the bathroom, she returned to the bath while I was giving a bath to her brother and said, "Mommy, you are my favourite girl. Okay? I love you". Those words left me with a priceless mix of emotions!
She went on to inform her brother and grandmother about the achievement of giving Mommy a bath. Anyone else who was willing to listen, she was quick to share her great news with the person. The experience got me to appreciate these thoughts;
1. Children often desire to help parents: When children are given the right opportunity, they are willing to offer support to their parents in whatever capability they can. Giving my daughter that space to be productive gave her a high a sense of joy and fulfilment for helping me.
2. Children gain a sense of responsibility when they exercise learned skills: Being applauded for her efforts made my daughter feel a sense of responsibility. She subsequently offered to also give a bath to her brother who actually is older than her, well, by minutes.
3. Children care about the well-being of their parents: My daughter offered to give me a bath as a way of reciprocating the care I give her. The intentional actions by which she gave me the bath gave a sense of deep affection I may not appropriately describe.
4. Affirmation of children's efforts encourages them to be better: Since the bathing incident, my daughter has become more confident about taking her bath by herself and she is getting better at it. She was encouraged that if she could ably bath her mommy then she shouldn't have any difficulty giving herself and others a bath. Had I belittled her efforts, she might not have built that confidence in her abilities.
I felt extremely loved and cared for by the action of my little girl offering to give me a bath. Her actions reassured me that if ever I needed someone to assist me with a bath, I could count on my baby to be there for me. It was a refreshing thought to consider that our children love us and will be there for us when it matters most.
We probably only need to make the needed sacrifices and teach them patiently to figure out life by themselves. As we train and take care of our children today, hopefully they too may become our biggest help tomorrow.
Very insightful. Thanks for sharing, Sally.
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