Reflective Seeds by Counsellor Seyram

Mind reading is an act of trying to discern the thoughts of others without the latter expressing them explicitly. It is necessary to work against mind reading as it leads to distorted thoughts, beliefs and assumptions about issues concerning us and those influenced by our activities. Here is a real life story illustration on why mind reading must be avoided at all times… I had arranged for dressmakers to work on new clothing for our twins. When we went to the shop for the clothing, our son’s attire was ready for collection while his twin sister’s clothing was not ready as promised by the dressmaker. We left the shop disappointed as we had only one attire. The next day when the twins were being dressed up, our son wore his new clothing while the sister had to make do with the old clothing. Looking at them, I felt sad and guilty that we could not facilitate her new attire reaching her in time (although it was not directly my fault. I felt responsible). So I said to her “ I will get...

When I was eight years old, my only brother died and it took a heavy toll on me. Interestingly enough, I didn’t cry when I heard the news. By age 13, I didn’t understand why I always felt so sad. I developed fear of heights because I’d hear voices urging me to jump every time I went one storey up a building. I struggled with a profound sense of loneliness and a void in my heart, which I never understood as a child. I started cutting myself as a way to cope. I lived through this darkness for many years, somehow escaping death one way or the other. Now, I feel it was God desperately yanking me out of a dark place because He needed me to tell my story so that it can to give others hope. Despite being the one with the biggest smile among my friends, I struggled to leave my house every day, dreading bumping into someone I had to greet. I loved being home by myself but also hated the feeling of loneliness. I got panic attacks whenever I heard the phone ring, so I always kept my phone on s...

When I turned 28, the topic of marriage became harrowing. I was getting older and needed to settle by the old age of 30 or so I thought. It so happened that my spiritual mother connected me to her spiritual son who happened to be a pastor. Incidentally, I had informed her in a conversation that I would be glad to get married to a pastor. I did not think that she would connect me to a pastor who was still navigating life for himself. Someone who had no church affiliation and still lived in his parents’ house. Retrospectively, this was not the issue for me. I eventually agreed to the marriage hesitantly. This was my spiritual mother, she could not have made a mistake in connecting me to a life partner. In fact, I felt there was something enigmatic about the pastor’s demeanour but I could not put them in words. He was over excited to meet me but reluctant to start making arrangements for marriage. Eventually, the cat came out of the bag and we all got to know that he had an alcohol addic...