IN THE RING OF LIFE: WHOSE MIND ARE YOU READING?

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Mind reading is an act of trying to discern the thoughts of others without the latter expressing them explicitly. It is necessary to work against mind reading as it leads to distorted thoughts, beliefs and assumptions about issues concerning us and those influenced by our activities. Here is a real life story illustration on why mind reading must be avoided at all times…

I had arranged for dressmakers to work on new clothing for our twins. When we went to the shop for the clothing, our son’s attire was ready for collection while his twin sister’s clothing was not ready as promised by the dressmaker. We left the shop disappointed as we had only one attire.

The next day when the twins were being dressed up, our son wore his new clothing while the sister had to make do with the old clothing. Looking at them, I felt sad and guilty that we could not facilitate her new attire reaching her in time (although it was not directly my fault. I felt responsible).

So I said to her “I will get you your new dress tomorrow, okay?”. Then she l0oked at me confused and asked, “is my dress old?”. Huh! This implied that she didn’t even know the difference. I was quickly rescued from a crying scene by my mother, their grandmother, who interjected the conversation and said, “Oh no. Your dress is nice and beautiful too. Tomorrow, another dress will be added to this one. Then, you will have two”. She was so excited. I could only be thankful for the turn of events.

However, the brief incident got me thinking about life. Here are some thoughts to reflect on.

1. Thinking for others may do harm than good. I assumed that upon seeing her brother in a new attire, our daughter would be upset that her attire was not ready. This is a false assumption and was rather a recipe for stirring emotions. In life, it is important to allow others express their concerns or thoughts by themselves instead of trying to read their mind.

2. People may not recall past disappointments unless we remind them about it. If I had not mentioned the unavailability of her dress, our daughter’s attention would not have been drawn to the issue which would have subsequently led to a tantrum. We sometimes bring up issues that should be left in the past and this can cause others to get hurt or upset. We need to be mindful and avoid such recaps as much as possible.

3. If we can intervene to make a situation better, we must do so promptly. Without the prompt intervention of their grandmother, the scene would have been chaotic. When we have an opportunity to avert a potential crisis situation, we should willingly do so in good time. As we help others find happiness, we equally gift ourselves with same peace.

4. Do not claim responsibility for others shortcomings. We had complied to our part of the clothing contract with the dressmaker but we were disappointed. It was not our fault; thus, there was no need to feel guilty or take blame for it. In taking blame for issues that are out of our responsibility, there is a likelihood of hurting ourselves or others unnecessarily. We should be conscious of this and endeavour not to take responsibility for others shortcomings.

5. Give your best and accept that you cannot control the action of others. In placing the order for the clothes, we followed through with the set agreement and made necessary commitment. If the dressmaker had equally complied, we would have no concerns and the delivery would have taken place as expected. However, we faced disappointment which was out of our control. As we go through life, we must acknowledge that we can only give our best in situations and let fate take its course.

Whose mind are you reading?

 

 

 

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