HEALING TOGETHER: MY RELENTLESS FAITH & FIGHT TO MOTHERHOOD

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In our part of the world, the ultimate goal for most marriages is to procreate but years into our marriage, we realised that our dream was not forthcoming. In the initial stages, we were not affected because we had so much hope in God and the bond between us was just too strong for anything to break us. However, at a point, I realised that we were drifting apart, which I think was as a result of our inability to conceive. After visiting several hospitals alongside herbal treatments, we were still not seeing results. Instead, it was one sickness after the other which led to so much anxiety especially for me.

The realisation that we were growing and that time was not on our side coupled with hurtful comments from close friends at work and church against us to confuse my husband and encourage him to have children out of wedlock worsened my state. I developed severe anxiety disorder as a result and had to focus on treating the disorder. 

While dealing with the anxiety disorder, other minor health issues also began to creep in. I sought medical attention and was informed that one of my tubes was blocked. So, I went to do tubal cleaning to clear the tubes. I also had fibroids which I had to undergo surgery to remove. These were difficult and painful procedures I silently endured. Unfortunately, the surgery caused some complications which got me afraid and made me stop every process. I pleaded with my husband for support and reminded him of the oath we took to be together and the need to stay committed to fight together so that we can win together. All this was heavy on my husband as well and it strained our relationship and almost took away the joy and hope that we had. Yet as the woman, I was still hopeful even though I didn’t know how it was going to happen. After some time, the fibroids grew back, so I had another surgery.

I decided to focus on my health to be strong with the help of my parents. I went to live with my parents at this point so that they can help me heal.

When I recovered a bit, I mastered some courage to go back and see a doctor I was referred to for a new phase of treatment. I gathered some money by taking loans from places for the treatment. At that point, I decided to prepare financially so that money would not become a challenge to affect our already tensed relationship. I took up 70% of the cost of all the treatment I went through and only asked for support when I really needed it.

I also had some good men of God assisting me with prayers. I just could not afford to give up; thus, I fought relentlessly. I remember someone told me that at my age of 40, even if I give birth, the child may have some abnormality so I should forget it. However, I did not listen to the person neither did I get angry at the person because that was not my focus.

After sixteen (16) years of marriage, health complications and some miscarriages, we had our testimony by the grace of God. We were blessed with our own children – a set of triplets. My joy knew no bounds for I was victorious in the end. All persons came to rejoice with me - both those who were with me and those who said all manner of things and did all sort of things against me. However, the most important thing for me was that God had glorified himself in our situation which seemed hopeless. 

Lessons learnt.

  • Everybody goes through some sort of trials in life. However, the trials vary from person to person. The ability to overcome a trial is largely dependent on us. Trials help bring us closer to God and He alone can guide us. 
  • Times of trial are times that one has to reflect, focus and draw closure to God for guidance. We need to note that these trials are to spur us to greater heights when won and it also increases our faith. As a result, we need not give up but fight until we are victorious.
  • God has given us the power to overcome all trials and temptations. Humans may discourage you but your trust should only be in God. 
  • Know that no matter what trials you may be facing, you will always pull through only if you do not give up.
  • You need to have a strong will power to enable you fight for what you believe in and it is only God who can help us with that kind of power; therefore, you need to remain resolute.
  • Do not pay attention to negativity but rather focus. Know that in times of difficulties, God comes in to save us. 
  • Also, ensure that you are financially independent so that you can take certain bold decisions and handle things yourself without depending too much on others. It gives you power and respect. 
  • Lastly, when you have to seek for help, do so but never give up on your dreams and aspirations because when you keep knocking, the door will eventually open one day.


- Shared by D.D.





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