HEALING TOGETHER: “PREDATORS” IN LIFE ARE REAL, WATCH OUT.
I never thought I would have the courage to share this, but the lessons I have learnt might help someone else.
In my early thirties, I returned to school for graduate
studies. I was single and focused — and I certainly didn’t expect that an
academic environment would be a breeding ground for sexual predators.
I have kept myself for marriage. It’s not something I
broadcast, but my innocence in this area tends to show. That year, I also lost
my father. In my grief and vulnerability, I longed for someone who could fill
that emotional gap. That, in hindsight, was my mistake.
Here’s the truth: accomplished older men are often drawn to
younger women who admire them — especially those who appear vulnerable. Over
time, four lecturers made sexual advances toward me. At first, I thought
something must be wrong with me. I even went to therapy.
Therapy helped me see clearly: that some men are just
predators. They target women who remind them of the dreams they once had — or
the power they want to reclaim.
Here’s how to spot a predator:
- They
show deep interest in your goals and ask about your needs.
- You
start trusting them, thinking they genuinely care.
- They
share troubles in their marriage or career to get your sympathy.
- They
show up when it matters, offer advice or even financial help.
- They
ask about your background and slowly investigate your preferences.
- One
day it’s a hug “out of openness,” and the next — something inappropriate.
- Your
reaction at that moment will redefine the relationship.
As a Christian woman, I want to say this clearly: no
verse or “God talk” justifies predatory behaviour. You answer to God, not
to anyone who manipulates Scripture. Stay vigilant and don’t compromise your
values for what I call “chicken change.” The disappointment cuts deep — but
know this: they don’t care. Yes, even people who look like the pope can
be predators.
Here’s what I have learnt:
- I
am stronger than I thought I was.
- My
femininity is a strength, not a weakness.
- I
am not to blame if a grown man can’t control himself. Shame on him.
- Even
younger men in authority can be predators. Be watchful.
- Sex
is sacred — honouring God and your future spouse is worth the sacrifice but
it is your choice and duty to own and protect it.
If you have experienced something like this, I hope my story
gives you the courage to speak up, stand tall, and walk in truth — for the sake
of Christ and for yourself.
- Shared by Nhyira
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