Relationships involve two or more people who share common values, beliefs or are connected by certain ties such as birth, marriage, occupation, education, social settings like a Christian community, associations. Consenting to be in a relationship with others except in the case of blood ties which is naturally determined often has some embedded expectations.
These
expectations in some instances may be obvious from the onset while others may
not be so. Obvious expectations from the onset include companionship and
support in various forms (emotional, financial, social, psychological,
educational, career). Others such as intimate desires and sharing private
information may develop in the course of the relationship. Whatever the case
may be, it is necessary to be clear on what you expect from relationships
before committing to it be it friendship, intimate relationship or relationship
by formal affiliations.
To TRESPASS means to encroach or enter a space/ territory without permission. I have observed that in most relationships, there is the temptation to assume that we have full access and right of trespass and are entitled to disclosures about happenings in the lives of those with whom we share a certain relationship.
Whereas caution is often exercised in relationships with those in superior positions out of reverence or fear, there is the constant temptation of disregarding such caution when relating to peers, juniors or blood relations.
Often personal boundaries are disregarded and intimate information is sought without much thought for the privacy and dignity of the individual or parties concerned and it's related implications. There is a sense of entitlement to such information and instances where there is reluctance to provide such information, the end result is a strained relationship or sometimes a complete cut off and an end to good relationships which should not ordinarily be so.
Admittedly, the urge to search for some of this information may be borne out of genuine concern or a need to offer support to the individual or parties in question. Nonetheless, there is a crucial need to respect the boundaries of everyone we relate to regardless of the form of relationship we share. Every individual is entitled to their privacy and are allowed to decide who they want to share what information with for whatever reason.
It is rude, inconsiderate and even humiliating to have a sense of entitlement to information regarding the personal life and activities of others. We need to ask PERMISSION TO TRESPASS and we must be GRANTED TRESPASS before we request for personal information about other people's life and private issues. This is also applicable to especially married couples, family members, colleagues, and close acquaintances.
Sometimes
such disclosures may either be too painful, unnecessary or just a matter they
do not want to discuss openly. We should not force anyone or make people
uncomfortable around us just because they are reluctant to give us certain
information.
Exercising sensitivity to others should be an intentional action at all times. We need to be reminded that, our best friend also has a best friend who also has a best friend. If you do get that very private information, what will you honestly use it for? Think hard about it!
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