IN THE RING OF LIFE: THE UNINVITED PLUS NUMBER

Quite often when people are hosting an event, they invite others who they consider significant to share the occasion with or who are needed to support them ensure its success. Whether it is a period of celebration or mourning, there seems to be a desire on the part of the host to have others be part of the activity. Hosts normally make adequate preparations to ensure their guests receive the best of comfort during the occasion.

However, a common trend is for some invitees to honour the invitation but take along another or other guests uninvited. Usually, this is without any prior notice to the host or hostess. It is, therefore, of little wonder that during some events, there is shortage of souvenirs or refreshments to serve all the guests. Perhaps, this may be linked to the extra guests unbudgeted for who turn up without warning and as such are unplanned for. Sadly, such people focus more on "enjoying" the event with little interest in supporting or contributing in any way to allay the expenses incurred in hosting that event.

The uninvited guests may argue that their presence will rather be beneficial for the host or hostess thus there is nothing to be apologetic for. On the contrary, that should not be the case as such unannounced guests pose inconveniences and discomfort to hosts or hostesses who are unprepared for the added number. The lack of preparedness for the “added numbers” may occasion situations which may create an indelible negative impression about the hosts/hostess.

Similarly, it is common to sometimes see people who are being offered a free drive/ride to carry others along without first seeking the consent of the car owner or driver. This could cause discomfort in varied forms to the person behind the wheel; it is not a polite habit as the car owner or driver may have his or her own plans. The driver might have made his or her own considerations before choosing to invite you or offer you the free drive/ride; thus the gesture should not be taken for granted.

So what win-win options can we consider in both instances to avert the inconveniences?

1. Be courteous by seeking prior consent from your host or hostess before attending an event with anyone else.

Do not assume it is okay to take along others to places they are not accredited or invited to be.

2. Be kind enough to take along with you a gift or make relevant contribution to support the success of the event.

3. Respect the space of anyone who offers you a free ride and avoid drive invasions as much as practicable.

4. Understand that imposing your friends or relatives on others is disrespectful and an invasion of the latter’s privacy.

Hopefully next time we are invited to an event or offered a ride/drive, we will be careful to be sensitive to those who extend warmth to us. Do not assume it is okay to be intrusive when you may actually be offending others indirectly.

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