IN THE RING OF LIFE: WHAT IS MARRIAGE TO YOU?

The institution of marriage is one considered as unique and often sacred in many societies. It involves a union between a man and woman who have consented to live together as a couple with common or shared goals, responsibilities and aspirations. The marriage ceremony is considered a happy occasion not only for the couple, their families and friends but also for the community at large. This union is one where a certificate is given before the actual married life begins thus the merit of whether one deserves the certificate or not cannot be determined especially in hindsight.

Every marriage is novel thus no two marriages are ever the same. There is therefore no particular format to determine the success of one marriage over the other. The sustainability of any marriage however depends almost always on the two individuals involved and their choice to be committed, consistent, honest, and true to their decision to share a life together. The survival of the union also rests on some essential values including companionship, compassion, selflessness, compromise, sacrifice, humility, kindness, service and forgiveness; it also hinges on effective communication and the parties understanding the distinct nature, needs, strengths and weaknesses of each other.

Significantly, marriage is that place where the individual can be transparent in every aspect of life physically, economically, socially, professionally, financially among others and remain unashamed in the presence of his or her partner. Marriage thrives on trust and reverence towards God as its foundation coupled with love, loyalty, purpose and the will to be faithful to the other person for a lifetime.

While there is no age limit for marriage as it varies from cultures and societies, it is important that it is contracted between two consenting and mature adults who are mentally, emotionally, socio-economically, financially, and psychologically capable of devotion to each other. It is therefore unfortunate for anyone to be coerced, compelled, forced or pressured unnecessarily into marriage. Since it is considered not only as a socially uplifting institution guided by specific social, moral, legal and religious principles but also as a life-bound commitment that can cause the growth or destruction of the parties concerned, its contract must be treated with utmost thoughtfulness and sober reflection devoid of any form of compulsion.

Until one meets an accommodating companion who accepts the humanity of his or her partner and is consciously dedicated to propelling him or her to achieve utmost excellence in life, marriage should not be ventured into. Marriage means work, work and more work to make your lives better and not bitter. It is not a walk in the park nor a competition driven by age. To enter marriage is a choice to let go of all others for that one person with the understanding that it involves a cheerful crown and also comes at a cost with consequences.

Sometimes, procreation becomes a major worrying concern in marriages. Strangely, the African society, for example, seems to keep record and seek to determine the number of children a couple should have and at what interval. This is especially disturbing for couples who have genuine reasons and painful struggles as the cause for which they are unable to bear children in their marriage. It is therefore rude and offensive to pass unsavoury comments about couples who may not have children in marriage.

It is worthy to understand that the marital status and circumstances of an individual or a couple is a private decision that must be respected by society.  How a couple decide to live their lives is subject to their preferences and this must always be respected. 

That notwithstanding, society will always have an opinion about marriage which may affect you as an individual. However, you must be able to decide on how, when and why you get married as well as how your marriage functions without paying immense heed to public opinion.

Do not be quick to live to impress anyone. Instead, give your marital home the choicest peace, love and stability. Ensure that your reaction to public scrutiny regarding your marriage does not affect your sanity and personal choices at all!