IN THE RING OF LIFE: DISCOVER YOUR PLACE IN THE COMPETITION.

I recently watched a video online of toddlers between age 3 and 5 years who were in a school dress-up competition. Their task was to dress up by themselves with their underwear, singlet, pair of shoes and socks as well as a P. E. kit. I suppose there were prices to be won along the sentimental feedback from the crowd that was present to cheer them on. As the competition was ongoing, some made steady progress while others were struggling. Of particular interest was one of the girls.

She had worn her underwear, shoes and socks in good time. Her pace was fast and it seemed as though she was going to be part of the first batch of winners. However, she faced a setback when she missed wearing her singlet properly. She wore her P. E. shirt over the singlet before realising that her left arm had not fit in properly so she quickly put her arm into the singlet and wore it over the P.E. shirt. She almost immediately realized that she was missing something. She looked around her and saw some of her colleagues who had completed the task being cheered on and escorted to the finish line. As she struggled helplessly to retrace her steps, she began to weep hard! She stopped trying to correct the mistake and instead kept crying. After crying for a while, she took off her P. E. shirt and finally wore the singlet properly. She then proceeded with a relative struggle to re-wear the P.E. shirt. At that point, a good number of her colleague competitors had completed their task and were lined up at the finishing point. Unfortunately, the video ended abruptly but here are some thoughts I gathered from the competition.

I liken the journey of life to this school competition where every individual strives to be aligned in reaching set goals, visions and aspirations. This may be achieved by making free choices and decisions through self-determination in the quest towards self-actualisation to make meaning of our existence. Quite common is the countless obstacles faced by all individuals in the physical, personal, occupational, social and spiritual spheres of life. No individual can allude to being excused from experiencing existential challenges and its related anxiety at one point or the other in life. However, as the little girl in the video, we can be guided by the following useful lessons in the somewhat competitive journey of life.

1. Focus on your yourself. As we go through life, there are bound to be distractions in the form of shortfalls, uninformed choices, illness, disasters, disappointment, loss among others. However, in all these, it is necessary to always keep our focus. We need to re-trace our steps if need be, re-strategise if the old methods are not working and constantly improve upon ourselves. Do not be pressured directly or otherwise by anyone to settle for less or divert from your intended vision. This also means that you need to be clear yourself first on what you aspire to attain in order to find fulfilment.

2. Be patient with yourself. To be patient with oneself is to understand that no individual is neither all-knowing nor capable of resolving every issue all by him or herself. Again, as we are not supreme beings, we cannot entirely guard against encountering hardships. At best, we can play our part with hope, faith, integrity and perseverance while trusting that things will fall in their right place on our account. We may not always be at the highest level at the time we envisaged but there is always room to improve and develop positively. With life and good health, there is no need to rush! One day at a time is just right.

3. It’s okay to stop and cry. Sometimes, situations of life can be too overwhelming to catch up. We may experience burnout and extreme stress at certain times which are quite inevitable. It may even be the case that in those times, we are actually giving our best efforts but have little or no returns. In that state, it is okay to vent our emotions such as crying or even screaming in a safe environment because that may actually help us relieve the built up anxiety and burden. The catch word here is a safe environment!

4. Identify the gaps and try again. Although it may seem exhausting to have to re-try achieving certain feats severally because we couldn't excel in earlier attempts, it is fine! There is no shame in acknowledging errors and revising notes and plans to reach set goals. Continuously, give it another try and it will surely be worth your while. You will, overtime, rise to be an expert.

5. Never give up. The likelihood of giving up when obstacles overwhelm you is potentially high especially when your coping strategies are low. In times when it seems as though there is no help in sight, you may feel alone or be convinced that you cannot overcome the situation at hand by yourself anytime soon. As a result, you may contemplate letting go. However, I employ you to reconsider this as giving up is not the ideal solution to any obstacle. Being alive itself means there is yet some hope. You can pick up the pieces and start afresh to attain sucess and fulfil destiny. Endeavour to strive for the best. Be encouraged that the world needs you more than you may ever know.

Nevertheless, in instances where you are unable to overcome the competitive nature of life and be self-actualised after using the tips listed above, kindly seek support from a counsellor or psychologist for recovery. Always remember that you are not alone, there is help available and yes, hope makes all things possible!

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