Reflective Seeds by Counsellor Seyram

Mind reading is an act of trying to discern the thoughts of others without the latter expressing them explicitly. It is necessary to work against mind reading as it leads to distorted thoughts, beliefs and assumptions about issues concerning us and those influenced by our activities. Here is a real life story illustration on why mind reading must be avoided at all times… I had arranged for dressmakers to work on new clothing for our twins. When we went to the shop for the clothing, our son’s attire was ready for collection while his twin sister’s clothing was not ready as promised by the dressmaker. We left the shop disappointed as we had only one attire. The next day when the twins were being dressed up, our son wore his new clothing while the sister had to make do with the old clothing. Looking at them, I felt sad and guilty that we could not facilitate her new attire reaching her in time (although it was not directly my fault. I felt responsible). So I said to her “ I will get...

When I was eight years old, my only brother died and it took a heavy toll on me. Interestingly enough, I didn’t cry when I heard the news. By age 13, I didn’t understand why I always felt so sad. I developed fear of heights because I’d hear voices urging me to jump every time I went one storey up a building. I struggled with a profound sense of loneliness and a void in my heart, which I never understood as a child. I started cutting myself as a way to cope. I lived through this darkness for many years, somehow escaping death one way or the other. Now, I feel it was God desperately yanking me out of a dark place because He needed me to tell my story so that it can to give others hope. Despite being the one with the biggest smile among my friends, I struggled to leave my house every day, dreading bumping into someone I had to greet. I loved being home by myself but also hated the feeling of loneliness. I got panic attacks whenever I heard the phone ring, so I always kept my phone on s...

When I turned 28, the topic of marriage became harrowing. I was getting older and needed to settle by the old age of 30 or so I thought. It so happened that my spiritual mother connected me to her spiritual son who happened to be a pastor. Incidentally, I had informed her in a conversation that I would be glad to get married to a pastor. I did not think that she would connect me to a pastor who was still navigating life for himself. Someone who had no church affiliation and still lived in his parents’ house. Retrospectively, this was not the issue for me. I eventually agreed to the marriage hesitantly. This was my spiritual mother, she could not have made a mistake in connecting me to a life partner. In fact, I felt there was something enigmatic about the pastor’s demeanour but I could not put them in words. He was over excited to meet me but reluctant to start making arrangements for marriage. Eventually, the cat came out of the bag and we all got to know that he had an alcohol addic...

MYTHS ABOUT THE COUNSELLING PRACTICE This is the third and final part of our write-ups on What do you know about Counselling? In this post, we address some myths about the counselling practice and reasons why we need to debunk them. If you missed the first two posts, please read them via insert links; https://reflectiveseedsbycounsellorseyram.blogspot.com/2024/08/in-ring-of-life-what-do-you-know-about.html; https://reflectiveseedsbycounsellorseyram.blogspot.com/2024/07/in-ring-of-life-what-do-you-know-about.html A number of myths are associated with Counselling services and this breeds stigma sometimes and also prevents individuals who are in dire need of counselling from seeking out the service. We will discuss some of such myths and why it is important to diffuse them from our minds if we genuinely require counselling to boost our functionality. Myth 1: Counselling is giving advice. One of the biggest confusion and challenges associated with Counselling is the thought that it is adv...

As an evolving profession whose practice gained legislative act as late as 2013 in Ghana, the field of counselling seems fairly new to a large number of the Ghanaian population as compared to nationals of advanced countries where the discipline has taken root. Indeed, in a research conducted by Dzokoto et al. (2022) on cultural adaptations and Ghanaian response to psychotherapy practice, their participants who included counsellors reported some cultural barriers they had to navigate before offering therapy in Ghana. The barriers include clients seeing therapy as an unfamiliar resource, resistance due to mental illness stigma, linguistic barriers, hierarchical and age norms associated with help-seeking in providing therapeutic services, Charismatic Christian and African Cosmological Worldviews, cultural expectations of helping and family sit-ins. This is the second write-up on the three-part awareness creation series about the field of counselling. The current text highlights the releva...

Counselling is an allied health profession and support service which involves a helping relationship facilitated by a trained professional known as Counsellor and a person in need who is known as Client . The term “counsellor” is one that has diverse definitions. However, for one to be considered as a counsellor, he or she must meet certain criteria and be certified by the relevant authority for such practice. Some studies have shown that counselling and allied fields such as psychotherapy and guidance are still evolving in the Ghanaian context. Thus, many people still lack the requisite knowledge and information about the service offering. In fact, there is evidence pointing to the fact that quite often, what most people subscribe to is seeking advice which they loosely term as counselling. In this three-part series, we first offer some insight into the various definitions of counselling and its related fields. We will then discuss the role of a counsellor and the need to seek prof...

Have you ever persistently felt low energy where you lacked motivation in life? Have you ever felt detached from yourself and everything around you? Well, you might have experienced a condition known as emotional numbness. According to Kerig et al. (2016), “Emotional numbness is a state of being in which you are not feeling or expressing emotions”. It is a usually a sign of an environmental or mental health issue. Emotional numbness which is also known as emotional blunting, anhedonia, alexithymia, emotional detachment or disassociation may seem strenuous to understand or describe if one has not experienced it before. However, some people often describe it as a feeling of isolation while others experience emptiness and feel discouraged. This may cause them to become unfocused and disoriented. Mayra Mendez, a licensed psychotherapist and program coordinator at Providence Saint John's Child and Family Development Center describes it as “the mental and emotional process of shutting ou...