Reflective Seeds by Counsellor Seyram

Sympathisers may genuinely desire to offer condolences and other form of support to lighten the burden on the immediate bereaved persons as they go through the period of grief but unfortunately, not all sympathisers are able to achieve this purpose. In some scenarios, they end up worsening the pain thereby causing more harm than the intended good.  This post concludes the list of some ways through which meaningful support can be offered to anyone experiencing grief.  You may refer to the earlier list of support options for the bereaved via https://reflectiveseedsbycounsellorseyram.blogspot.com/2024/03/in-ring-of-life-support-in-grief-i.html 7. Refrain from sharing your personal loss experience. A statement like I know exactly how you feel is one highly abused in comforting a bereaved person but this should not be the case. Losses are exclusive to every individual and should not be compared in moments of offering grief support. It may be emotionally draining for the giver of that infor

At certain points in our lives, we may all experience some sort of loss; a child, a spouse, a parent, relative, friend, or acquaintances. Often, the particular relationship we had with the deceased determines the intensity of grief we experience. For some people, the period of grief is limited to the time of death and ends during the burial service. For others however, the period of grief may be much longer – perhaps as long as a lifetime. The pain may not get better with the passage of time. This post offers some ways in which support can be extended to individuals who are grieving. You may refer to the first part of this series to understand what grief entails via this link: https://reflectiveseedsbycounsellorseyram.blogspot.com/2024/03/in-ring-of-life-understanding-grief-i.html 1. Be understanding and patient. There is no restriction on how long the individual is to grief during the loss of a loved one. Grief is a personal expression of pain; thus there should be no fixed expected t

Grief may be considered as intense sorrow and emotional pain usually associated with the death of a loved one. It is characterised by a whirlwind of emotions such as yearning or longing for the deceased, preoccupation with the deceased and circumstances of the death, anguish or guilt. Grief is part of the experience associated with death, an existential phase of life which can affect anyone; however, every individual’s response to grief may differ. The first part of this two-part series on ‘ Grief’ discusses grief and how to identify and understand prolonged grief as a disorder which may require professional intervention. The second part (in a subsequent post) will explore what to do when offering support to individuals who are grieving. According to the American Psychiatric Association (2013), prolonged and complicated grief reaction is termed persistent complex bereavement disorder. The symptoms include difficulty accepting the death, disbelief or numbness, difficulty in reminiscing

A dairy as defined by the Collins Online English Dictionary (2024) is usually a book for keeping daily record, usually private, especially of the writer's own experiences, observations, feelings, attitudes, etc. It may also be considered as a book or pad containing pages marked and arranged in calendar order, in which appointments and the like are noted. Although keeping a dairy is an important exercise, it may sometimes be considered as a herculean task which many people would rather make excuses to avoid. Admittedly, it may be stressful and somehow time consuming to daily make time to record events especially when other equally important activities demand your attention.  Another reason why some people may resort not to keep a dairy may be due to the fear of other people having access to it thereby gaining insight on the formers’ private and personal information they would rather prefer to be kept as a secret. Notwithstanding these reasons, there are some useful considerations wh

The Cambridge Online Dictionary defines Stigmatisation as the act of treating someone or something unfairly by publicly disapproving of them or it and Merriam Webster explains the verb stigmatize as to describe or regard (something, such as a characteristic or group of people) in a way that shows strong disapproval. The issue of stigmatisation is an age long situation that exists in many societies. Ghana is no exception. Stigmatisation is a big challenge which almost always leaves the individual or persons involved in a state of misery, self-pity as well as other psychological or emotional distress. In simple terms, it places the individual or group at the receiving end in a negative and uncomfortable position. Often, individuals who are facing peculiar health conditions such as mental health conditions, brain disorders, psychomotor disorders, skin conditions and other "uncommon" disorders are usually met with immense stigma by the general populace. The high level of unacce

Sometime ago, we noticed that several mosquitoes found their way into our rooms every day. It was quite disturbing but we could do little about it because the landlords, my almost 4-year-old twins would enter the room and leave the door ajar. Until they are reminded to keep the door shut, it is the least of their worries. We mentioned buying a mosquito repellant to spray the room in their presence but we could not actually get to do it – early enough. One evening, I returned from town and was welcome with a message from my son. He said, “ Mommy, I used the spray in your room and grandma beat me. She beat sister too (referring to his twin sister) so she is sleeping ”. Since I could not fully grasp the details, I asked my mother about what had really happened. She said, “Earlier this evening I noticed he was not in the room so I sent his sister to search for him. She left and also didn’t return. When I followed up, I realized that he had gone into your room and emptied the content of you

Marriage is a deep-seated social construct where two independent individuals resolve to partner resources and live as a holistic single unit to improve the worth of each other hopefully for a lifetime. It is a choice and commitment to make sacrifices and leave every other person because of the decision to be with that particular individual. Every marriage relationship is unique in that no two couples are the same. Irrespective of the possibility of shared similarities, there will never be two marriages that are the same. This is a fact applicable even in rare cases where twins marry the same set of twins. This implies that, for any marriage relationship to endure the test of time, the couple must be devoted and willing to work continuously to sustain the love, peace, unity, bond and every good virtue on which the union is founded. The decision to remain married to one individual out of the lot is based on the belief of trust, respect and appreciation of the worth and value the person a

My almost 4-year-old twin toddlers like to exercise their independence by trying to do things for themselves. These include eating by themselves, wearing their own clothes, attempting to lay their bed by themselves and quite recently, taking a bath by themselves. While they are not perfect at it, they are making remarkable strides in all regards especially the girl who is quite maternal. One evening, I was giving her a bath when she insisted that she would do it by herself. Reluctantly, I agreed to allow her. She did her best which by my estimation was good enough. Then came the surprise. She asked that I permit her to give me a bath! She said, “Mommy let me bath you”. I shrugged her off but she kept insisting and I finally gave in to her plea. “Okay. You can give me a bath", I said. I looked on as she meticulously gave me a bath. I sat through the session filled with awe as my heart burst with pride. I had a flashback of the tiny babies from few years ago and I could only be than