Reflective Seeds by Counsellor Seyram

Marriage ceremonies are beautiful. They mark the beginning of a union between a couple, and by extension their families and friends, who have consented to be united as one. Where there is love, there can only be joy, peace, harmony and other equally edifying attributes. No wonder during celebration of marriages, an open invitation is extended to the general public to join the couple to make merry and share in the love of that festive occasion. No two individuals get married unless there is a shared motive; the measure of the actual intentions being positive or negative is solely a preserve known only to the couple involved. After the celebration of the marriage ceremony, the actual work of sustaining the union rests exclusively on the couple involved. While some influences may be present from other equally concerned parties, there is no obligation for others to play a direct role in the proper functioning of the marriage or union. However, in cases where the marriage or union faces som...

A common feature among people is the tendency to make assumptions in life about others, situations, events. An assumption may be defined as anything that is accepted or expected to be true and is therefore considered as such without any real proven fact to support the claim. Assumptions are usually based on speculations, presumptions and unverified hypotheses about people, places, issues or events. Some assumptions may be developed based on pre-existing conditions, studied patterns or preconceived notions. Assumptions which are widespread and therefore taken as facts of issues are carried far and wide among a populace. Notable effects of assumptions are misrepresentations, misinformation, misjudgements and misappropriation of actual facts relating to a person, place or event. Unfortunately, these assumptions treated as facts are often held for a long period of time. The longer and wider the assumptions are circulated as facts, the more the harm it causes individuals and the society at ...

Cheating can happen everywhere and anywhere. However, I want to charge you to imagine a world where cheating takes place nowhere. Would you consider that a fantasy or an impossibility? Well, I am encouraged to say that it is highly achievable and possible because the ability to maintain an honest life is a choice one makes consciously. It is a deliberate attempt to avoid situations, people, activities or events that may cause you to act dishonestly. Dishonesty does not happen instantaneously. It is an attitude that develops over a period of time following certain choices and decisions made to evade honest approaches to dealing with issues. Some of the conditions that lead to cheating include: 1. telling little lies to cover up issues the first instance they occur which leads to creating more lies for sustenance; 2. the fear of the high cost of hurting the individual(s) with the truth and related consequences; 3. inability to have open conversations about what your actual needs and expe...

Quite often when people are hosting an event, they invite others who they consider significant to share the occasion with or who are needed to support them ensure its success. Whether it is a period of celebration or mourning, there seems to be a desire on the part of the host to have others be part of the activity. Hosts normally make adequate preparations to ensure their guests receive the best of comfort during the occasion. However, a common trend is for some invitees to honour the invitation but take along another or other guests uninvited. Usually, this is without any prior notice to the host or hostess. It is, therefore, of little wonder that during some events, there is shortage of souvenirs or refreshments to serve all the guests. Perhaps, this may be linked to the extra guests unbudgeted for who turn up without warning and as such are unplanned for. Sadly, such people focus more on "enjoying" the event with little interest in supporting or contributing in any way to...

Every human makes mistakes which I refer to as unfortunate consequences and turn of events in life choices, decisions and actions. Unfortunate consequences may stem from decisions, actions or choices made from a misguided or wrong act of judgement or an ignorant stance.  In other words, they are events that took place due to lack of adequate information regarding the repercussions they pose to the affected individual and others concerned. No mortal can accurately predict what the future holds; therefore, no one will ever be 100% certain on whether or not his or her choices are entirely accurate enough to ensure a problem-free future. Mistakes are, therefore, indisputable aspects of human nature that no mortal can claim immunity to. This means that when actions and decisions taken do not yield the most favourable results, the individual must not spend too much time, energy and resources on regrets about the miserable happenings. Indeed, some incidents have produced moral, spiritual,...

As humans who are in constant interaction with others in our environment, it is natural to give information about ourselves to others just as we receive information about the lives of others . Quite often, there is the tendency to share too much detailed information about certain events or activities happening in our lives with others close to us for various reasons. This may be caused by the need for validation or appreciation, empathy, sympathy, support or maybe just out of excitement to share good news with those we care about and assume care about us as well.  Usually in the moment of excitement, we do not cross-examine ourselves or the person we are sharing the information with as much as we ought to on the need to give out the information. We give out the information with the belief that it will be kept privately between us and the receiving person(s). Sadly, this is not the reality in most cases. Except in rare cases where we appreciate that it is classified informa...

Contentment is a state of being happy or satisfied as a result of what one has accomplished. One’s achievements can be educational, financial or socio-economic and politically related. However, there is no specific measure of what height one needs to attain in terms of financial, socio-economical, educational, political, or probably marital status to be considered as content in life. Contentment does not necessarily mean that all things are in place concerning you. However, it means that you are satisfied with your life as it is. Sometimes, it relates to situations or instances where you have given the best of yourself to your circle of influence and possibly extending similar support to others in the community. Indeed, your ideal contentment is exclusively known to you alone. To attain any state of contentment in life, one has to consciously be in control of his or her life independent of public opinion. Everyone needs to define what contentment means to him or her because it is a...

  A weakness is considered as inability to function satisfactorily in a particular way, activity, place, etc. It is therefore common for individuals to shy away from their weaknesses. They would normally deny any of such weaknesses in their lives in a bid to escape it.   It may also be because they want to make excuses to avoid being considered as inadequate.  On the contrary, I hope to encourage you to explore your weaknesses and possibly focus on transforming them more than glorifying your strengths.  Knowing your weaknesses: 1.   enables you to learn new ways to help you cope in situations that are unfavourable for you; 2.   challenges you to discover yourself and align to any needed obligations where necessary; 3.      helps you to avoid stressful and upsetting situations that could affect your mental, emotional, psychological and social life; 4.      guides you to predict your responses to situations at a...