Reflective Seeds by Counsellor Seyram

A s a young girl in the secondary school, I was constantly having headaches. They were very severe and would linger on for a long time. Eventually, I sought permission from school and went to the hospital to seek medical attention. Upon several examinations, the medical doctor told me that I was struggling and forcing myself to go beyond my intellectual ability which was limited to secondary school education. He then asked that, I end my academic pursuit there and relax. I should not bother to go beyond that. I didn’t expect that result but I was not deterred.   I decided to engage an elderly man who was like a godfather to me. He advised that, I was a beautiful girl who can easily get a rich man to marry me so I wouldn’t need to pursue higher level of education. I heard him but still wasn’t listening to his verdict either. Armed with the medical reports, I went back to school determined not to let the verdict affect me negatively. I committed myself to study hard despite the h...

I have faced numerous rejections in various aspects of life, including business, work, relationships, and friendships. However, one experience stands out as particularly eye-opening. This is what happened...  Upon completing my tertiary education and national service, the next big thing was to get a job. I turned down three (3) other job opportunities and relocated from Cape Coast to Accra to work for a Christian Bible NGO because I believed it would be more fulfilling to serve God in this capacity. For me, it was the ideal place to begin my professional work journey as a zealous young believer in Christ. My first three (3) days at the office was confusing. I was told by the director that I would be the national campus coordinator. The next day, I was informed by the director that I have been tasked to  create fake Christian stories for publication.   Six (6) days later, I was assigned to travel from Accra to Cape Coast to organise a seminar for all churches especially...

I was a new mum in 2020 when I lost my job unexpectedly. I didn't see it coming! I didn't contribute to it in anyway. It just happened because someone wanted to bring in their relative and I was the sacrificial lamb! This affected me both mentally and physically. I got depressed. It was a bitter pill to swallow.  It also affected my marital home because it meant that we had just one source of income. You couldn't ask for anything; all responsibilities were on the man. There were times I wanted to just leave the house but to where? I didn't have any money. I knew I was mentally exhausted but I could not even open up to people because I didn't want a pity party neither did I want my issues moving around. Also, I am quite paranoid so I was scared to open up to people. It was not an easy journey. For four (4) years I lost myself, I wouldn't even look in the mirror. I honestly don't know how I got out of that difficult phase of my life. I also don't recall ...

Back in the University, I was in a relationship with this guy. Everything was beautiful and all rosy in the beginning. He was always showering me with gifts. He became very possessive, always threatening my male friends and colleagues. He even warned my study mate to stay away from me. Initially, I felt his possessive attitude meant he was protective and was showing me love but it became worse by the day. He had a bad temper and became abusive but he had a way of apologising and I forgave him because I wanted the relationship to work. His mum told me about his temper and asked me to handle it with patience. There was a day he got angry and hit me, I cried my eyes out, I couldn't believe it happened to me, he came apologising. I forgave him but couldn’t leave the relationship. His temper and anger issues were escalating. I wanted out but couldn't voice out. In my mind I had signed out of that relationship but couldn't tell him due to his temper. I was scared of his react...

The concept of accountability can be considered as the values of upholding certain standards of honesty, dependability, responsibility and excellence in execution of duties and human relations. To be accountable is to acknowledge your role play in happenings and making a conscious effort to right wrongs where necessary. Living by standards of accountability helps to ensure that your actions are undertaken with caution bearing in mind the repercussions of those actions on yourself and others in your sphere of influence. Accountability can be enforced by the individual when he or she is honest enough with him or herself to identify, accept and remedy shortcomings when they occur. However, it is quite common for one to lose sight of such lapses due to human weaknesses and absence of a support system to keep us in check. This highlights the need to have an accountability partner. Here are some few reasons why you may want to consider having an accountability person - if you do not have o...

I never thought I would have the courage to share this, but the lessons I have learnt might help someone else. In my early thirties, I returned to school for graduate studies. I was single and focused — and I certainly didn’t expect that an academic environment would be a breeding ground for sexual predators. I have kept myself for marriage. It’s not something I broadcast, but my innocence in this area tends to show. That year, I also lost my father. In my grief and vulnerability, I longed for someone who could fill that emotional gap. That, in hindsight, was my mistake. Here’s the truth: accomplished older men are often drawn to younger women who admire them — especially those who appear vulnerable. Over time, four lecturers made sexual advances toward me. At first, I thought something must be wrong with me . I even went to therapy. Therapy helped me see clearly: that some men are just predators. They target women who remind them of the dreams they once had — or the power they want to...

According to the Collins dictionary, a relationship is an emotional or other connection, association or involvement between two or more persons by blood, marriage or other social means. Relationships may be intimate, casual, platonic, romantic, co-dependent, open, sexual or even toxic. Some forms of relationship include family, friendship, acquaintances or social (work, religious affiliations, events), sexual or situationships. This implies that a relationship may have positive or negative impact on the parties involved depending on the form of relationship they share and the sense of commitment they attach to it.   Relationships especially involving two persons of the opposite sex may be intimate, platonic, romantic, open or sexual. However in instances where the relationship is one intended for courtship or marriage, it is important for the couple to focus on building and maintaining a positive focus for continuity. Unfortunately, excuses are often made on why multiple partners...

The Cambridge online dictionary defines waiting as “to allow time to go by, especially while staying in one place without doing very much, until someone comes, until something that you are expecting happens or until you can do something”. The Collins Dictionary also expresses the term wait as “when spending some time doing very little, because you cannot act until that thing happens or the person you expect arrives”.  To wait in life basically implies experiencing a pause or halt in a hitherto planned life pattern or schedule due to a reason or two. As we go through life, there may be reasons which can compel us to wait for someone or something. Some may be voluntary while others may be involuntary. Involuntary reasons for waiting in life includes unemployment, financial challenges, issues with social interactions, environmental constraints, religious demands,   relationship problems, disasters, sudden loss or illness, death and   other existential issues. Volunt...

In our part of the world, the ultimate goal for most marriages is to procreate but years into our marriage, we realised that our dream was not forthcoming. In the initial stages, we were not affected because we had so much hope in God and the bond between us was just too strong for anything to break us. However, at a point, I realised that we were drifting apart, which I think was as a result of our inability to conceive. After visiting several hospitals alongside herbal treatments, we were still not seeing results. Instead, it was one sickness after the other which led to so much anxiety especially for me. The realisation that we were growing and that time was not on our side coupled with hurtful comments from close friends at work and church against us to confuse my husband and encourage him to have children out of wedlock worsened my state. I developed severe anxiety disorder as a result and had to focus on treating the disorder.  While dealing with the anxiety disorder, other ...

One morning, I was headed out to town. A distance before I arrived at the bus station, a bus conductor signalled me to join their bus - a wine coloured commercial bus known as " trotro " in Ghana. Upon reaching the bus station, I saw another bus (a green one) ahead of the one I had initially been called to join. Compared to the wine bus which was still relatively empty, the green bus was full of passengers and would be in motion faster. By my calculations, I would be better off reaching my destination faster via the green bus; so, I went past the wine bus and settled in the green bus. As we were en-route on the main road, we encountered the usual buzzing traffic experienced by most commuters in the capital. The driver, therefore, decided to take a detour to avoid the traffic and reconnect later to the main road. No passenger on board really complained about his actions at this point.  Then, unfortunately the new route proved to have a higher traffic experience as compared t...

There is a popular belief that, no one is indispensable in life. Indeed, there are many situations in which people who were once considered a core part of the value chain of a business or institution suddenly become extinct. This may be caused by sickness, transfers, resignation, dismissal or even death. Irrespective of the reasons why you may have to exit from a business for example, it is important to consciously build a niche of excellence for yourself. This will add significant value to you as a person even as you leave an unforgettably positive impression on your team or employers.  Here are some ways in which you can make yourself a valuable asset for a business or the institution where you find yourself. 1. Execute tasks with utmost diligence . Do not rest on your oars and offer lackadaisical output because you are already on a payroll. Approach every activity or task assigned to you with excellence. Ensure that your final delivery is the best option you have to offer. Unt...

To say NO is an expression of refusal, disagreement, denial, disbelief or even a way of emphasising a particular issue or decision taken. Saying no is quite often considered unpleasant because it signifies unacceptance to yield to something others expect you to subscribe to or give consent for. Conversely, building the ability to say no can actually imply positive growth and be a sign of maturity in the life of the individual. Let us examine some reasons why saying no can be a beneficial response to the individual in life.   It reduces stress levels . Sometimes other people make demands of us without consideration for the effect or implications on our schedules, health and personal interests. Every human being has an inbuilt need to satisfy personal goals. This may imply getting others to carry our tasks or responsibilities as we pursue those desires. When we are unable to say no to others, it could result in putting undue pressure on ourselves to meet their expectations at ou...