Reflective Seeds by Counsellor Seyram

In ending each year, it is common for many individuals and even groups to set resolutions for the ensuing year. Some individuals might have achieved set resolutions for previous years but same may not be said for others who, for some reasons, could not achieve theirs. Regardless of how the year turned out vis-à-vis the set resolutions, aspirations or goals, being alive is the best gift anyone can possess in the year. We may not be able to undo much about the year ending, however in the year ahead and those beyond, here is a twelve-point food for thought that can contribute to make the new year meaningful. 1. January: Be kind to and tend yourself: Quite often, we are so engrossed in working hard to earn an income as well as make other significant strides; thus we tend to be very hard on ourselves. We forget to take care of ourselves or show kindness to our person. It is important to be considerate of ourselves and put our needs first. Highly significant is the need to prioritise our h

When things are going well in our lives, we seldom require the support of others. We are able to handle situations within our means. However due to the endless uncertainties and unpredictable nature of life, there often comes a time when we need the help of others to be able to navigate through life.  In such times, our relationships are tested. Understandably, every individual has personal hurdles to overcome in life thus there is no easy life for anyone - that is the reality of human existence. There is always a need to be met. It is therefore a privilege for anyone to shelve his or her personal and primary obligations to make time to offer support to others. This is not exclusive to finances. It stretches far into the scope of emotional, spiritual, physical, psychological, educational and social support. In fact, the greatest support any individual can offer others is his or her time and presence for they will never be recovered again - at least not in the same form or instance it i

Life is fluid and passing. Across many religious beliefs, no one seems to have a definitive guide to the specific duration of life span of mortal beings. Irrespective of this reality, it is evident that life starts at a point - inception - and physically comes to an end when one draws his or her last breath and is no longer counted among the living. Nonetheless, many theories exist about the spiritual and metaphysical realms in relation to life after death but that is not the focus of this reflection. Despite the knowledge that life is passing and that we all may pass this way once (except for the beliefs of subjects like reincarnation), most humans tend to live in a state of uncertainty vis-a-vis what the future holds. Ironically, we live counting on a future whose end no one can tell, constantly struggling to find purpose and trying hard to fit into acceptable standards of excellence as determined by society and culture as well as unceasingly desiring to be and feel recognised.

  Friendship is a wonderful relationship. It is one which can be a source of upliftment, joy, anguish or even bitterness. It can be a bittersweet experience based on a myriad of factors. We reflect on what it means to have a friend and also to be a friend to someone. Let us closely consider the various definitions for the word "friend". While the Cambridge online dictionary conceives a friend as “a person you know well and who you like a lot but is not a family member”, the Oxford online dictionary considers it as “a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations”. Also, the Dictionary.com and Vocabulary.com  respectively define a friend as “a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard or a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter” and “your buddy, your pal, your amigo, your comrade; someone you trust and like enough to hang out with on a regular basis”. Based on the foregoi

Somebody has hurt you terribly and the pain is eating deep into every fibre of your being.  You are desperate for an escape of revenge to at least cause the individual to feel same or at least similar anguish.  Just then the person comes up to you and says "Forgive me, I am sorry!".  Ah, is that intended to be enough to wipe away every emotion you are dealing with as a  consequence of the action performed against you? What if, the person doesn't even have the courtesy to admit the wrong done against you and expects that life would move on from that situation as though it never happened. Tough right? Well, I re-introduce to you an already known valuable principle of life - FORGIVENESS! Forgiveness is a choice or decision one makes to let go of resentment towards someone for the hurt experienced by his or her actions. To forgive means that pardon is being granted by the offended and there is no desire to punish the offender. To be able to sincerely forgive is to let go of a

    Have you ever wondered why a situation which once brought you immense happiness only becomes a memory of the past after a while? How about that person(s) whose actions you felt you could never get over because the burden was too heavy to carry? Well, this may probably be because times change and our responses to happenings in a particular time or season are equally subject to change. Time may not heal all our wounds or take away sad memories but with the passage of time, we learn to adjust to life as it comes. Time has a way of opening us up to experience new and daring perspectives above everything beyond what we ever imagined. Time will help us appreciate the things we ought to fight for and those we have to let go of as we grow. Time gives us an opportunity to live with any pain or disappointment and learn new ways of coping. The passage of time thus exposes the people who are genuine and those who aren't in our lives. Time gives reason to hope again and relive the memories

Imagine that you are living a "normal" life with your family. You are either a thriving student or worker, father or breadwinner of the home, mother of the family, child or sibling who hopes to live a fruitful life and be able to support his or her loved ones and those around him or her. Suddenly you wake up one morning and you feel out of sorts. You have no energy to go to school or work; you feel restless and tired; you snap at everyone and everything. Continuously for two weeks and more, you gradually begin to lose your sense of thought, behaviour, physical abilities and can't seem to function properly. You are unable to eat well or you begin to just overeat. You struggle to sleep or oversleep; you can't concentrate; and you have unexplained somatic symptoms like headaches, diarrhoea, indigestion, chest pains and heart palpitations.  Just imagine for a moment that you suddenly experience an onset of dread and fear of the unknown through panic attacks and all y

Relationships involve two or more people who share common values, beliefs or are connected by certain ties such as birth, marriage, occupation, education, social settings like a Christian community, associations. Consenting to be in a relationship with others except in the case of blood ties which is naturally determined often has some embedded expectations.  These expectations in some instances may be obvious from the onset while others may not be so. Obvious expectations from the onset include companionship and support in various forms (emotional, financial, social, psychological, educational, career). Others such as intimate desires and sharing private information may develop in the course of the relationship. Whatever the case may be, it is necessary to be clear on what you expect from relationships before committing to it be it friendship, intimate relationship or relationship by formal affiliations.  To TRESPASS means to encroach or enter a space/ territory without permissi

The subject of being pressured to consider life as a competitive race is one which cannot be overemphasized. Although it is one which is often spoken about at various places including seminars, conferences, workshops, in homes and schools, it remains one area that society just cannot get past approaching positively. It is common to be asked some of these personal questions in rather upsetting ways: When are you getting married? How many children do you have now? Where do you work? Often, these questions are asked out of curiosity with a view of measuring our success in life or perhaps just to mock us because of the perceived delays defining certain aspects of our life. I dare ask, who actually determines what is delay and progress in life? What is the standard of measure of success in life? Why do we equate accomplishments in life to marriage, occupation, childbirth, net worth, social status among many others? Ironically, one will barely come across acquaintances who would ask; how can

  Health conditions are not new to anyone. This is because almost every human being suffers from one health challenge or the other. Some are visible while others are not. Some can be treated with medications over a few days while others take a few weeks or months to heal. In some instances, health conditions are chronic.   That is to say, they can only be managed with some medicines or therapy or a combination of both to help alleviate the pain and discomfort they would otherwise have caused the individual but they have no permanent cure. They last a lifetime. In some of these cases, the individual has to remain on these medications or therapy subject to review depending on prevailing situations like aging, other health conditions, financial abilities, etc. The list of such conditions is inexhaustible so I shall not make any attempt to list them. The essence of this reflection is hinged on these chronic conditions and how they affect the lives of the affected individuals, caregivers,

Life has a way of throwing us off our intended course often. It is either our set goals are unmet due to choices made with insufficient information or as a result of circumstances far beyond our control as mortals. In most cases, this frightens us and when we are unable to quickly recover, our life may become miserable, stagnated or perhaps enter a phase of absolute halt. However, I have come to appreciate that probably the word - CHALLENGE(s) gives more openings than we may acknowledge. This is probably because during the times when we find ourselves in a situation that CHALLENGES us, we are shaken beyond our usual scope of reach. Let us reflect on an untapped angle to challenges we encounter in life: Some dictionaries define the word CHALLENGE as (an invitation to take part or compete in something/a call to prove or justify something/a dire/a bid/to question something, a situation, a person etc)... Thus in perceiving a situation as a CHALLENGE in life, be it in relation to education